"I like my bitches: redbone, ass fat, jello" - body standards

I thought I would share with you guys one of my favorite college supplements that I've sent off so far which had the prompt: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? -

One hundred and sixty-five pounds; stretchmarks; body fat; armpit chub; body hair; thicker thighs; broad shoulders. Society tells me all of these physical traits make me ‘less than’; less than the photoshopped Instagram model who is paid to sit and look pretty; less than the girl who is suffering from an eating disorder but because she’s thin, this is overlooked, and she is therefore loved. Why has society made me feel unloved or unworthy? Why has society glorified being skinny to the point where people become appendages to the capitalist industries that profit from our insecurities? Why has ‘average’ become undeserving? I am seventeen years old, 5 feet 6 inches and still growing, 165 pounds. Growing up in a largely conservative and conformist Caribbean society as I’m growing into myself, I can say first-hand body image issues could be the cause of my declining self-esteem and my exponential downfall in love for myself. “Wow, you look like you’ve gained/lost weight!” is a common greeting you’ll get from your Caribbean aunties or people who barely know you, seemingly innocent on their part, and understanding that their intentions were nothing but pure makes you realize. “Did I lose/gain weight? I hadn’t even realized,” subconsciously eating less in public, being afraid of being ostracized and shamed just for wanting to be satisfied or as your health needs dictate. “I think you’ve had enough,” “That looks like a lot? Are you sure you can eat all of that,” “Oh no! If you eat too much, you’re going to get fat,” and my favorite “I think we should do some exercise to burn this all off.” The internalized fatphobia that is now ingrained in my bias about others comes from my own insecurities. Why has it taken me seventeen years to understand that fitting into the mold that society wants you to fit in, is not you? Confidence is beauty. Beauty is self and if the invalidation of your self-worth is based on the numbers on a scale, you will inevitably never be satisfied with yourself. Social media plays directly into our insecurities, making us believe that because our hips are too wide, and our stomachs aren’t perfectly slim and hourglass-shaped with a little bit of tone and slim arms and a larger bust that we can’t be beautiful. Why would you be beautiful if you don’t look like that?

How the media portrays girls and women visually and in print is unrealistic and creates a fantasy for many young women. We need to address how body image is perceived and the stigma around ‘plus-size’ women in schools and in the wider community. In school, it's a more subtle sense of phobia, in which females with thicker body features tend to be objectified more, especially when wearing clothing that shows more skin on a thicker woman than it would on a slimmer woman. We are perceived as promiscuous, and we will be the first to be called out for their shorter/’more revealing’ articles of clothing. There is a stigma around 'fatness'. This is bolstered by an assumption that bigger bodies mean obese or unhealthy people. I advocate for this irrational generalization to be stripped from society and the need to focus on how ‘standard’ body images can affect people's physical and mental health. An ‘abnormal’ body image can lead to depression, social anxiety, and various eating disorders. Approximately 80% of women are self-conscious about their body image and think negatively about how they look. 70% of normal weighted women want to be thinner; over 50% of Americans aren't happy with their current weight. According to adolescent statistics recorded by the Park Nicollet Melrose Center, "over 80% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat!! 53% of 13-year-old American girls are unhappy with their bodies. This number grows to 78% by the time girls reach 17. By middle school, 40-70% of girls are dissatisfied with two or more parts of their body." Why are girls who are in the physical developmental process concerned about the number on the scale? This is hugely detrimental to their self-image.

Body image development stems from societal beauty ideals, which are affected by socio-cultural channels such as media, family, and peers. These channels can solidify personal negative messages that affect bodily satisfaction and dissatisfaction, which can lead to unnecessary dieting, eating disorders, and other unhealthy practices.

I put into practice being self-aware with the language used to describe ourselves and others. We tend to project our insecurities onto others, which in turn promotes unhealthy practices. I focus on providing women and men with mindful practices on how to engage in a productive conversation that pushes for inclusivity regarding body image, whether this is in the form of a blog, like "The UnPlug Collective," or an Instagram page posting motivational messages every few days to keep a constant flow of uplifting conversation about body image.

Body image is defined as “one 's subjective perception of one 's physical appearance.” Our public critical expressions of, and internal dissatisfaction with, others' appearance have created divides in our society, putting people into boxes labeled, “skinny,” “average,'' or ''fat ``. The amazing thing about the internet is that your words can be read or heard, or our voices heard even when we are absent or far away, spreading a message of body positivity and loving the body that grants you the gift of life. I believe nobody should feel the need to hate themselves when essentially, we’re all human beings fighting for whatever meaning of life pertains to us. Body positivity is challenging how society views the body; promoting the acceptance of all bodies; helping people build confidence and acceptance of their own bodies and addressing unrealistic body standards.

- rhi <3